On Parenting: Meghan Leahy took your questions about parenting – Washington Post

It seems the factors are pretty clearly spelled out here…so…yeah….

There is some data out there that some marriages are better off staying together (for the kids and the adults) if the adults like each other, but they have “the grass is greener” outlook on life an, instead of divorcing, they just need to communicate a little better. These couples tiff a lot but bumble along nicely and really grow in therapy.


Reread the list you just gave me. 

I mean, this isn’t “he doesn’t fold the towels right” mumbo jumbo.

This is hardcore human rights stuff, here. Demeaning treatment, economic suppression, verbal or emotional abuse? Ummmm…If you would not put up with it in a friend, would you do it with someone you are supposed to be in love with? Or at least like a lot?

And let’s say you can handle it, should your child have a front-row seat to this emotional $hitshow? Is this the paragon of marriage you are putting on display? I am not saying that marriage is ever perfect, but the inverse of that is not abuse. 

The data is clear that children emulate what they see, not what they hear…so what is this child seeing? Are you cool with that?

An excellent marriage therapist should be sought, stat. Whatever happens next should be done with as much compassion as humanly possible (rebuilding a relationship or splitting up). Start there. 

Good luck.

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